It was a surprisingly good three days with Ben's family. Not because my husband cooked the 22 pound turkey to absolute perfection. Not because we got to know his very cool 18 year old niece. And not because I left behind any internet connection which gives me a chance to wind down. No, this trip was one of the turns that we sometimes take that define the struggles of yesterday: the hopes of today.
(I like that new touch of grammar for shrinking expression without going into text mode - and you?)
2012 has been a tough road through new terrain. Not just the back country of Teton County. But also the front of this next chapter of my life, with my very semi-private Wyoming. I have enjoyed the baby steps of a first full year together in the same place. I have wondered about the baby steps of my full-blown attempt to find my "place" in this most unusual community. And I have struggled with the small but needed steps of my half-blown attempt to connect with new people in this time of planting for a new season.
The best thing that I have to say on this final day of Thanksgiving weekend 2012 is that I am coming to find that life makes sense - both in the choices we make and the consequences we take - for much of my life. I am also coming to find that life makes no sense if we are trapped into the delusion that it is only by our five senses that we can live.
I think that the major decision I began to make somewhere in my adolescence is that there are additional senses that I needed to locate, activate and understand. One of them was my intuition (my hunches). Another was my ability to receive revelation (the still small voice). And another was my constructing grand story (map-making for the lifespan). I would like to describe each of these below as I round out my toolbox that I came to this life with, because I find that these are additional gifts for which I am grateful, and for which I have rarely written about - whether in my professional or in my personal life.
First, my intuition: I tend to have major hunches on occasion. Some might call it a gift. Some might call it silliness. But, I have found that these hunches have guided the shaping of my life. Case #1: I have found that when one has not one, not even two, but THREE doors that could be the right door for the future (e.g. job possibilities), then ONE of them tends to open. If I go with two doors, then it is possible that neither will open. And if I go with only one door, then it is probable that I simply get "no". And so, in this season, I have come to find yet again that I must have THREE possible doors for the work I seek to do beginning in the Fall of 2013. Because I am in the middle of constructing three, I have felt the confidence that "I have done my share" and that the universe will do His/Hers.
Second, my ability to receive revelation: I'll probably never know the source of these direct communications - all I know is that they are located somewhere between my mind, my heart and my core gut. I have found that there revelations have steered the journey of my life.
POST INCOMPLETE - but will publish anyway
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