It's time to move again. Fortunately, the packing is going really well and Ben and I are right on target for exiting today by 5. Our long-term renters are coming between 6 and 7. This will work just fine. Just like the packing time out of NYC 16 months ago, it took three days to do it all, although I think we'll take about six days to get settled in. Ben's mom is 85 and it is obvious to us that she wants us in her home, on the first floor (which Ben has created an amazing space with milk paints, stained wooden floors and a keen eye for making an extraordinary living space). We will be there for about 125 days before returning to our townhouse seven miles away - unless our lives take yet another interesting turn!
What amazes me the most is that it may be coming time to really settle. I mean, I still like to travel as much as possible, especially if I get to learn something new like geography, language, culture or just getting myself out of any possible comfort zone - there's simply too much growth to pass on. Jackson/Wilson, Wyoming may be the best combination in which to live that I could possibly hope for at this stage of my mortal run.
Speaking of mortal runs, I am starting to realize that ALL of us have only so much time on the big stage called life. What takes place in the time we have is simply that - time that seems to accelerate the older I get. Perhaps it is that 1 year for a 10 year old is 10% of his life, while for me it is less than 2% now. But I'm not quite sure why the effect is feeling that time is "flying" by. All I know is that I am a VERY lucky man, with all the fantastic experiences that I have found. Professionally to be sure. Personally without a doubt. And now, rather than a crisis of faith, I simply turn to the certain belief that "man is that he might have joy". Not happiness. Not contentment. Not even happiness. No, it says it really clearly - that I might have joy. And what I have found is that it behooves me to find a faith community that allows me to be who I am. No more fitting into a mold. No more having to try so damn hard.
So, after a beautiful 24 year monogamous commitment to the LDS church, I have returned to my Christian roots - as a Protestant, and as a Presbyterian. I have decided to take this on for 9 months - kind of like going full-term with this "baby". Then, I will see where I am. Because, frankly, I've had enough of waiting for uptight, heterosexual, clueless, capitalist men to figure me out. And I guess, I've come to the conclusion that when they do figure things out, that they call me. And then, we'll talk. But, it has become incredibly clear that without formal training, without even an awareness that Truth is SO much bigger than obeying fallible men and their policies, even their beliefs - that I simply have started writing my own script. And not accept anyone else's.
And so, here I am at the end of 2012, in Wyoming, teaching on-line but with hopes that I am going to land something very interesting in 2013 that will change my life in a substantial way. Lots of irons in the fire now, and I'll most definitely know by Springtime - higher ed, secondary ed, communications media. Any of these will be just fine! And yes, living in zero degree weather is really quite invigorating! And loving snowpack that is simply impressive is really quite theraputic - I highly recommend it! And I'll get back to my blog when I'm on the other side - of the Snake River!
It is a privilege to live - every single day, we should count our blessings, that Heavenly Father and Mother (Abba and Ema) have chosen to give us another one. And then, another one. And that I have been given the greatest children that I could have imagined. Thanks to their mother for raising them on a daily basis these last 8 years. As the oldest prepares for an LDS mission; as the middle aspires to attend a great college back east; and as the youngest continues her winning ways as a scholar and an athlete. I stand all amazed. . .
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Saturday, December 15, 2012
An extraordinary week
Sometimes, once in a blue moon, life offers me a powerful upgrade to my normal speed. It tends to be something like driving 85MPH, rather than 55. Or maybe like having blazing fast internet speed or a successful run on the craps tables.
Well, actually, nothing went wrong this week. I taught AP English/Drama this past Monday, then got in my new car and drove 5+ hours to Salt Lake City to get ready for a big meeting with a Managing Director of a well-established radio station. Exactly one hour later, my business partner and I knew that we were "on the way". For the first time in my life, I found complete success in making "the pitch" in anything outside of education, and hitting a home run. But, that was just the beginning.
Buying the perfect gifts for family, self and friends, having the perfect meals at perfect restaurants for the occasion - this was just the beginning. Finding the perfect office space for this new start-up venture, finding the perfect house to rent (as long as I find 3 others to share the 4 bedroom!), and then, finishing off the three days seeing Sessions at the Broadway theatre downtown SLC, and then right into a super clear "vision" of what my life was about (usually, these are reserved for places like the Sacred Grove upstate NY, not on the streets of Salt Lake). Yes, even the drive back was filled with stunningly clear conversations on the blue-tooth. I guess I should ask if anyone else has these?!
It has come time for me to understand that I am going from live to on-line to on-the-air. That is how my teaching will expand. This is how I will stay interesting for the years to come. This is what the joy of life seems to be about. And then to share it with everyone I would meet, from perfect strangers in the Lion House (Brigham Young's home) to strangers in a Rexburg (ID) organic foods store.
Building a bilingual radio station is going to be a blast. Building a more perfect life with more challenges, more successes seems to be the best thing I could have been given. It will impact Ben's life, my children's life, and most of all, my own life. What I have learned more than anything from this week is that when things start lining up really really well, just go with the flow, even if it is a raging river. Fly like the wind, even if it won't last so long. And take on the descent, the end of the ride because one must learn to exit these "upgrades to life" just as well as the journey on them.
Even though many would think I have much to say about the Connecticut tragedy, I have saved my thoughts for the NYTimes and SLTrib comments section. I simply wrote this:
I fear that we all may be quick to jump at gun control (better: responsibility?) for a simple answer to a profound tragedy. May I suggest that we wait for further word on whether or not the young man who did this horrific act was on some type of anti-depressant, perhaps an anti-anxiety medication. Why? Because some of us have become very skeptical, to say the least, about Big Pharma's contribution to the supposed benefits of life in the post-modern age.
Certainly, we are all aware these last two decades of the lengthy warnings on TV ads regarding so many new medications. What we simply do NOT know are possible side effects that did not become apparent during the required time of drug testing or that did not become sufficient in number during the same period of time to warrant any stoppage on the path towards full approval by the powers that be.
It has come time for our society to have not only a full discussion regarding gun responsibility but also a much greater scrutiny of our dearly beloved drug companies as well. Then, we might come to arrive at a greater truth.
And with that, I'll leave my readers with the simple quote I saw tonight on the wall of a senior citizen's home here in Jackson tonight. "LIFE is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving with a pretty and well-preserved body. But rather to SKID in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming: WOW!. . . WHAT A RIDE!".
Well, actually, nothing went wrong this week. I taught AP English/Drama this past Monday, then got in my new car and drove 5+ hours to Salt Lake City to get ready for a big meeting with a Managing Director of a well-established radio station. Exactly one hour later, my business partner and I knew that we were "on the way". For the first time in my life, I found complete success in making "the pitch" in anything outside of education, and hitting a home run. But, that was just the beginning.
Buying the perfect gifts for family, self and friends, having the perfect meals at perfect restaurants for the occasion - this was just the beginning. Finding the perfect office space for this new start-up venture, finding the perfect house to rent (as long as I find 3 others to share the 4 bedroom!), and then, finishing off the three days seeing Sessions at the Broadway theatre downtown SLC, and then right into a super clear "vision" of what my life was about (usually, these are reserved for places like the Sacred Grove upstate NY, not on the streets of Salt Lake). Yes, even the drive back was filled with stunningly clear conversations on the blue-tooth. I guess I should ask if anyone else has these?!
It has come time for me to understand that I am going from live to on-line to on-the-air. That is how my teaching will expand. This is how I will stay interesting for the years to come. This is what the joy of life seems to be about. And then to share it with everyone I would meet, from perfect strangers in the Lion House (Brigham Young's home) to strangers in a Rexburg (ID) organic foods store.
Building a bilingual radio station is going to be a blast. Building a more perfect life with more challenges, more successes seems to be the best thing I could have been given. It will impact Ben's life, my children's life, and most of all, my own life. What I have learned more than anything from this week is that when things start lining up really really well, just go with the flow, even if it is a raging river. Fly like the wind, even if it won't last so long. And take on the descent, the end of the ride because one must learn to exit these "upgrades to life" just as well as the journey on them.
Even though many would think I have much to say about the Connecticut tragedy, I have saved my thoughts for the NYTimes and SLTrib comments section. I simply wrote this:
I fear that we all may be quick to jump at gun control (better: responsibility?) for a simple answer to a profound tragedy. May I suggest that we wait for further word on whether or not the young man who did this horrific act was on some type of anti-depressant, perhaps an anti-anxiety medication. Why? Because some of us have become very skeptical, to say the least, about Big Pharma's contribution to the supposed benefits of life in the post-modern age.
Certainly, we are all aware these last two decades of the lengthy warnings on TV ads regarding so many new medications. What we simply do NOT know are possible side effects that did not become apparent during the required time of drug testing or that did not become sufficient in number during the same period of time to warrant any stoppage on the path towards full approval by the powers that be.
It has come time for our society to have not only a full discussion regarding gun responsibility but also a much greater scrutiny of our dearly beloved drug companies as well. Then, we might come to arrive at a greater truth.
And with that, I'll leave my readers with the simple quote I saw tonight on the wall of a senior citizen's home here in Jackson tonight. "LIFE is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving with a pretty and well-preserved body. But rather to SKID in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming: WOW!. . . WHAT A RIDE!".
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Two movies; one move; no regrets
That's right - two of my favorite movies of my adulthood were seen last weekend. And I'm still so excited about both of them that I need to get this written down. Lincoln is the American story par excellence for the next few school years - it is, after all, the 150th anniversary of so many events from the Civil War - Gettysburg next July, the Gettysburg address next November for starters. The National Park Service has already begun a hugely ramped up program out at the battlefield in Pennsylvania that will continue through all of next year. Anyone who has the opportunity should go. But, in the meantime, we have the stories through the great storytellers of the screen - Steven Spielberg for one. And anything that Ang Lee has a hand in (remember his extraordinary work in Brokeback Mountain?).
Anyway, while I don't wish to start writing movie reviews (yet!), I stand with conviction that that movie will go down as one of the great DVD's to show in high school US history class for years to come. So many performances. So many important scenes. So much description and unpacking of the central character - whom our current President has spent years reading up on. I also stand with conviction that The Life of Pi will become of the great movies of the early 20th century for one reason: it is a global movie. Not made in the American genres, not starring American actors, yet totally comprehensible for all of us - knowing full well that the gross box-office take will probably be multiples in OTHER countries. We will ALL be able to talk about this movie - both Americans, Asians, Africans, Europeans. And that is what makes it so important in the history of cinema. And in the burgeoning development of what I am calling again and again "the global citizen".
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
The move coming up is from Jackson to Wilson. About seven miles due west. From my three bedroom, two bath townhouse to a two bedroom one bath part of my mother-in-law's house. It will be first and foremost done (within a couple of weeks) to support Ben to take care of his 85 year old mother. It is being done also to give both of us a huge break on our finances. By going rent free for five months, I was able to dedicate all that money into a car which I have just purchased. Ah, to have wheels again, after six years on the MTA or START bus! Yes, driving is a privilege.
Now, I will be able to increase my mobility exponentially, for the purpose of commutes to the schools here when called upon, for the pleasure of heading down to Salt Lake (300 miles) when needed by projects or my kids, for the privilege of taking the proverbial "road trips" that have provided me much joy throughout my life. Whether to see a neighboring state, or to watch the country unfold (kind of like seeing two centuries of US history in 3-5 days - I highly recommend it!) as I drive I-90, I-80 or even more enjoyably US 30 for a couple thousand miles. Whatever the reason, I now have four wheels. And it is good.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
No regrets. I think that might be the key to a healthy lifestyle above all. But, the responsibility attached to this freedom is to ask for forgiveness to all whom one has offended, whether emotionally, financially or even intellectually. It is the spiritual requirement to take on such a regimen. Someone told me years ago, after I was mauled to near death at Utah Valley University (all that illegal stuffing of my tenure file, all those insane threats from bosses in secret meetings) that I simply forgive and forget.
Well, I will tell you, the BEST thing I have done in order to grow up was to forgive and NOT forget. Because the key to gaining knowledge, understanding and now some wisdom has been to not forget. To learn. To become a man. To be able to offer assistance to others when they themselves are blindsided, in ways similar to what I endured. After all, I don't want two near-death experiences (with my body crashing on Nov 22, 2004 and my mind snapping on March 22, 2005) to be for naught. That would make a mockery of my well-intentioned life. And would cause my well-summoned life to stand without lessons learned, for myself and for others. Which is why I teach. Because that is who I AM. What do you think about any of this? Let me know. ///
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